"Cliques"

Emz118 · #1 (**permalink**) 04-08-2007, 08:00 AM

Just a suggestion, so please don't bite my head off people, but I can only see these "cliques" turning sour and causing massive arguements. It's already happening in some places, and personally I think it should be stopped.

This forum has been my favourite for a long time, but with all the segregation arguments and bitchiness recently I'm getting fed up tbh, and I know I'm not the only one.

sparkle · #2 (**permalink**) 04-08-2007, 09:04 AM

I totally appreciate what you are saying but I am not sure what can be done about the problem.. as not everyone wil be able to see there is a real problem.

I think the main issue here is how do you define cliques...

A clique can be defined in many ways and will alsways be subjective to opinion...

the definition is.. a small exclusive group of friends and associates...

In life this will always happen.. it is human nature to form groups whether that be on forums or not.

it makes people feel many things including.. needed, safe, and a sense of belonging. These needs and requirements are based around human nature and our desire for tribe mentality.

Tribe mentality is fine.. we do it at school, on forums , at work even in how we dress.. goths, skaters. indie kids, chavs.. so it happens daily and in every area of our lives.

The problem arises when the cliques turn into bullies or have pack mentality...

cliques usually turn against one another... and then the arguements start.
This is the main problem... who is right or wrong.. who should people side with.... and is it just better to stay out of it all.

What is viewed as bullying and what is acceptable will always be viewpoint and not set in stone.

We cant all like everyone.. and we cant all like every group of 3 or more people we come across.. whether it be in actual life.. or on the internet.

My personal view goes a bit like this....

What we can do is look at ourselves and try to work out if we are being nasty, bullying, or is we are excluding people we like just because we dont know them very well.... I dont have an issue saying sorry when I have been out of order.. I also have no issue letting people know if I am upset... Only recently someone had a go at me for nothing... instead of invloving my forum mates... I replied in a jokey manner and myself and this other forumite sorted it very quickly... he appologised and i smiled it off.. simple.

I dont think perosnally anything can be done about cliques or groups as its a part fo life.. and always wil be.. but i think everyone needs to be careful they dont use groups and pack mentality to bully...

sorry for the long post

Athravan · #3 (**permalink**) 04-08-2007, 09:16 AM

I think that it is natural that small groups of people will bond on here who have things in common, this might be, the animals they keep, the location they are, the type of music they listen, their style of speaking, or just because they "click" and get on well...

As long as we ALL try to get along with other people, even if we don't always agree with them, and we try to make our own minds up, and not just go along with the crowd... then there is no harm in groups...

I do not think I am a member of any cliques but I am a lot closer to some on here than others.. it's just natural.

No one should be excluded in any way on this forum... and at the end of the day, this is a forum designed for help and chat about reptiles and yes, it is nice to socialise.... but we should never forget the purpose of the forum and become some wrapped up in the off topic section or with groups of people here that we forget why we signed up in the first place.

candoia aspera · #4 (**permalink**) 04-08-2007, 12:26 PM

impossible to police but i think most people are okay and will chat to anyone - i do at least

captaincaveman · #5 (**permalink**) 04-08-2007, 12:54 PM

yeah, its a natural thing really, the bitchiness is something else though, thats probably my most hated thing, it could be self policed if people thought before they posted though