Stupid things said by customers etc...

[TCReptile]

You must all get this one everyday: Have you got any job vacancies? But the one I just had made me

Young Lad: Do you have any job vacancies?
Me: Not at the moment, but we will be looking for some staff soon with the run up to christmas and holidays. If you want to drop in a CV and we'll let you know.
Young lad: What's a CV?

How the hell is he ment to get a job when he doesn't even know what a CV is? I ended up telling him what it was, and giving the names of some places where he can get help in making one

[Snake-Assault]

Originally Posted by Barney_M

we are frequently told how big the snakes we have get. 'oh thats a such and such, i hear they get like 10 foot long and eat lambs'

lol I don't even work in a shop but get that a lot when people see my tiny little corn snake.
'omg they grow huge don't they?!'
just get out! lol

[bluejon91]

i have heard someone ask can snakes play fetch

[fishboy]

I used to like it when people came in and asked for tiger roaches, clown roaches and leotard danios

[Danny_mcr]

great thread, loving some of the quote's

[joeyboy]

yeah ok this isn't reptile related..but...working in retail..you get all sorts!

Here's a flavour of what I experience each day at work, bar the daily "excuse me miss/young lady" "all right sweetie?"..when I'm a guy.

1) Customer: "I'm looking for a vegetable"

Me: "..right. Do you know what it's called?"

Customer: "umm no.."

Me: "...ok, is it from the freezer(we do a lot of frozen products, at Iceland), or fresh?"

Customer: "I'm not sure...but it's a green one!"

Me:"...right..well I'll show you which ones are green..."(shows her all veg which is green or has green leaves...)

Customer: "hmmm no I don't think it's any of those. Oh wait! It's this one here!"

...she goes and gets a bag of APPLES!

2) Chinese guy asks me...

Him: "excuse me sir, do you sell COCK?"

Me: (trying to keep a straight face)..cock?"

Him: " ya ya cock. HE MAKES HIS HAND INTO A FIST AND DOES AND IN AND OUT MOTION IN FRONT OF HIS MOUTH!."

Me: (Dieing inside)...urm do you mean coke, like coca cola?"

Him: "yeah yeah cock! cock! The big ones!(does a gesture showing me it's really long...)

Me: (going to explode..) Yes ok, You probably mean the big 3ltr bottles we sell.

3) (I'm near the till)

Customer(to women on till): "you got deliveries for tomorrow?" (his trolley is at the other end of the isle, he's asking if he can get it sent for tomorrow)

Her: " yeah we do, first one is 11-1?"

Me: "yeah, we also still have some today(it was near cut-off, I thought he might have assumed he was too late to get it to come this evening.). We still have ones for 5-7pm if you'd like?

Him:"...nah it's ok" and walks off

Me: "sir..you can still get one tomor...(he's walked away too fast and he seemed like the kind of guy best left alone lol)

Me and women on till: "lulwot?"

there's a lot more which come to mind.

[Elsa]

Work in a vets as a receptionist...
(woman asking for tablets that i need to get details out for)
Me: So whats the surname?
Customer: Mine or the cats? (it's her own cat)
Me: Well the name the cat's registered under?
Customer: Connor
*looks it up - no Connor in the book"
Me: Sorry what surname did you say?
Customer: *actual surname*
Me: *finding it* ohhh ok. thanks.


I mean, since when have cats had their own surnames!?

[Lil Skiddy]

Hi Kat, I work in a Reptile shop in Lincoln & I know all about the "eegits"!! Always getting asked if we sell rabbits/guinea pigs, they seem disheartened when I show them our "cold stock". As for the "are those snakes poisonous" question, customers always argue the toss with me that venom & poison are the same...I'd LOVE to be able to personally show them the difference

[Lil Skiddy]

Yeah you can breed Kings & Corns, just make sure the Corn is male, because there's a high chance the King snake will eat it - & it would be pointless to have them breed, then the pregnant female eaten.

[luke28]

Originally Posted by Twiglet

Just read a post started by someone who had been told by a non rep keeper that leopard geckos live to be over a hundred and it got me thinking about all the utter tripe i've heard from people recently.
Others here work in shops, i cant be the only one that gets the eegits (please tell me i'm not the only one that gets the eegits...)
I work in an aquatics show with a very small reptile section.

The Boa Story - you'll all have heard this one, I'm getting a different version every few weeks now. You know the one i mean, the "snake laying next to owner, vet says to get rid of it as its measuring to see if it can eat you" story. The boa has grown from 6 feet to 40 feet in a matter of months if the stories are to be believed. people always look so disapointed when you point out the idiocy of that story.

"can I have some Crocusts/Lucus?/locus/locustses?"
No, but you CAN have some LOCUSTS!

"Excuse me, do you sell marine turtles?"
Yeah, sure, I've got six arriving tomo. I though I'd keep them in that tank with the great white shark and the orca...

"will the frozen smelts come back to life when i defrost them for my lion fish?"
pray REALLY hard...

"look son, a BEARDED dragon! They can't breathe fire though. Thats just Komodo dragons"
I'd quite like to meet a fire breathing komodo. or actually, maybe i wouldn't.

"excuse me, do you sell water pistols?" No sorry, try the garden centre "well, thats rediculous, you're a water shop aren't you???"
ok...

"wow, is that A REAL snake?!?!?" No, its a deck chair. "Really?!" sigh.

"some one told me they get big, but i figure I wont really need a big vivarium because greckos only grow the the size of their tank"
No i wouldn't have sold him a gecko either. or a grecko for the matter.

"I've got this lizard, its not eating. Whats wrong with it?" what species I ask... "oh just a normal basic lizard, you know, those long ones."
keh?

"Are the snakes poisonous?"
well, i dont suggest you try and eat one but no, they are not poisonous. they are not VENOMOUS either.... If i had a quid for every time i get asked this i could retire. or buy a gun and shoot every cretin that asks me if ingesting a snake will make them ill.

I saw a gentleman looking a little confused recently (see alot of them actually) so i went over to him and said "are you ok there sir?" he looked at me like i was pile of faeces and replied "no" before storming out of the shop.

and the best one ever:

"can i buy some quality weed please?"
yeah ok so they really want a bunch of elodea for their long suffering goldfish but the sight of a tiny old woman wearing a bobble hat asking me for joint never fails to make me smile. I'm easily amused!

Any one else??


Kat