Stupid things said by customers etc...

[Barney_M]

we are frequently told how big the snakes we have get. 'oh thats a such and such, i hear they get like 10 foot long and eat lambs'

[Issa]

Originally Posted by Twiglet

"look son, a BEARDED dragon! They can't breathe fire though. Thats just Komodo dragons"
I'd quite like to meet a fire breathing komodo. or actually, maybe i wouldn't.

I actually managed to convince my old boss that my beardie did actually breath fire when you annoyed him and the black beard display were actually scorch marks, but he only has stumpy little wings so can't really fly well. Worst bit, the silly cow actually believed me and asked honestly how I could keep a pet like that.

[strictly_scales]

A couple of my favourites...

1) A woman is intently looking into every Viv at work. I ask her if she needs any help. By this point shes stopped to look at the adult Corns, who are every morph except for a wild colour. She shakes her head, and says... "I think its really cruel... they would be much better off in the wild".

I point out that most of the livestock are captive bred, many are albino's, and then explain the glorys of parasitism, competition and predators...

2) I hear a bloke chatting to his girlfriend round the corner from where I am holding a 6 foot Boa. He's telling her that all this animals are actually really harmless, and how he once held a 12 foot python at a zoo. He walks round the corner, spies the snake I am holding, screams and runs out of the shop.

And at number 3, my all time favourite...

"Excuse me, but that tortoise is on its back".
"Oh, ok."
"Well, aren't you going to do anything?"
"No, it'll sort itself out."
"No it can't."
"Uh, yes it can."
"NO IT CAN'T"

Oh yes, you're right, you numpty. I'll just phone Tort-Rite- the professionals in Tortoise Tipping. They've been righting Tortoises for the tens of millions of years that Tortoises have been falling over.

[Hannah81]

Originally Posted by Twiglet

"wow, is that A REAL snake?!?!?" No, its a deck chair. "Really?!" sigh.

Kat

I love this one. I get asked it a lot by people who see my phone as the wall paper on the screens a snake. Quite like that response

I once opened the door to a few mates, one of which had never been to my house before, with one of the corns around my neck, he came in and said
"why do you have a fake snake round your neck?"
I just passed it him without a word

He actually turned out to be quite interested and was checking out the rest of my collection once he came in.

[Twiglet]

1) A woman is intently looking into every Viv at work. I ask her if she needs any help. By this point shes stopped to look at the adult Corns, who are every morph except for a wild colour. She shakes her head, and says... "I think its really cruel... they would be much better off in the wild".

Yeah because when you're so pink that you practically glow in the dark the best possible place to be is the wild...
I love that line, people are so misinformed its almost cute! I've had people say stuff like it about snow corns, crazy coloured leopard geckos, albino glow light tetras.... give me a warm cozy viv, friendly keepers and free food over the big scary outside world any day!!

I actually managed to convince my old boss that my beardie did actually breath fire when you annoyed him and the black beard display were actually scorch marks, but he only has stumpy little wings so can't really fly well. Worst bit, the silly cow actually believed me and asked honestly how I could keep a pet like that.

aw, did he have his wings clipped as a hatchling? Its such a cruel practice... removing our little fire-breathers favorite mode of locomotion... But then its so hard to get your DCA (Dangerous Combustable Animal) Licence without doing it these days.

On an unrelated note, that is as good as the day that i convinced me ex that you purchased farmers at a farmers market.... well, he was welsh, it was all too easy for him to believe....

"Excuse me, but that tortoise is on its back".
"Oh, ok."
"Well, aren't you going to do anything?"
"No, it'll sort itself out."
"No it can't."
"Uh, yes it can."
"NO IT CAN'T"

Oh yes, you're right, you numpty. I'll just phone Tort-Rite- the professionals in Tortoise Tipping. They've been righting Tortoises for the tens of millions of years that Tortoises have been falling over.

Well DUH! where would we be with out those legendary TORT-RITE heros... they've been tipping toppled tortoises for ever and long may they continue to do so.
I hear that there is a possiblility that they might be branching out into the world of pest control too... protecting unsuspecting herpers whos frozen food has been resurected as it defrosted.
because we all know that there is nothing worse than going into your kitchen to find that you have undead pinkies singing at you and throwing peanuts from that hard to reach spot behind the fridge freezer...
God bless Tort -Rite.

I think they deserve their own theme tune.


Kat

[BeckyL]

Originally Posted by Twiglet

"wow, is that A REAL snake?!?!?" No, its a deck chair. "Really?!" sigh.


Kat

Lol that happened to me once. I was in the shop holding one of the snakes and a bloke came in and went "Wow! Is that a snake!?"

Not sure what else he was expecting it to be

[Twiglet]

Lol that happened to me once. I was in the shop holding one of the snakes and a bloke came in and went "Wow! Is that a snake!?"

Not sure what else he was expecting it to be

I mean seriously, who WOULDNT recognise a snake FFS?!?!?! I can never help myself, i have to say something stupid when asked if its real...

another one i've had is: "what sort of snake is that?"
its a boa
"what sort of boa?"
feather
"what a lovely name for them... isn't it pretty!"

Me? Enjoy taunting the stupid...? Never....!

Kat

[TCReptile]

The thing that really annoys me, and you all must get about 20+ times a day:

Customer: 'Does it bite?'
Me: 'It has teeth doesn't it?'
Customer: 'Well yeah'
Me: 'So that surely means it can bite'
Customer: (waking backwards from the counter) 'So does it bite?'
Me: (sighing) 'No, I bite'

At this point they usually leave.

Others that also annoy the hell out of me:

'Why do you sell mealworms? Don't you know they eat their way out of the reptiles stomach?'
Really? Oh I better take the pot of mealies out from my adult leos viv who have been eating them for the past 2 years.


'Oh you don't want a Royal Python, they don't eat you know'
And thats how I have 2 adults is it? Because they've lived the past 4 years on nothing but air.


'Do you have to feed a snake mice? Thats yucky!'
No you can also feed them rats, chicks, hamsters, gerbils, some even eat eggs and frogs'


Gosh there are so many I could be here for days

[Mujician]

But the world would be a dull place without such cretins, idiots, and noobs to keep us entertained!

[KJ Exotics]

I have some funny ones (cant remember some) such as:

Customer: what will happen if i eat a dartfrog ?
Me: I would not suggest it, or try it.

Customer: what do they eat?
Me: deforsted mice
Customer: why not live mice ?
Me: as it is against the law.
Customer: (turns round to little girl) im going to buy a snake to eat your mice (girl runs off crying lol.