Stupid things said by customers etc...

[LoveForLizards]

Not me but this was a conversation I had with a mate over msn once, I was crying with laughter

screamaimfire@live.co.uk says:
*hehe
**shudder* that reminds me of something that happened yesterday......ugh.
M// says:
*Go on....
screamaimfire@live.co.uk says:
*right well you know i help out in that pet shop sometimes?
M// says:
*Yhh
screamaimfire@live.co.uk says:
*well i was behind the counter talking to Jess and this guy comes walking into the shop, admires the guppy tank for a few minutes, sighs and starts wondering around...
*i called over...can i help you?
*he sighed again and walked up to the counter... "can i have some of them guppies please?", i asked him the usual have you had them before, what equipment do you have, what size tank, etc
*all seemed fine, so i grabbed a bag and a small poly box to put the guppys in and got some out for him, i was having trouble getting the last one out, he sighed again. huh??..i continued trying to get this bloody fish out of the tank lol and then he randomly asks "i was just wondering, can fishes have sperm? i mean will it harm that?" i nearly fainted *well ermmm.....ummm....i suppose umm....but why?* "oh i just gave some to my guppys at home and they went mad for it, i just wondered if it would hurt them" umm.....errrrmmmm...i looked over to Jess a bit puzzled, she comes over seeing my face in a state of shock "Hello Sir, Tae? what's wrong?" ermm...uhhh...it doesn't matter. "so, can they have it? will it hurt them?" Jess says "have what? what's wrong?" "sperm, i gave some to my guppys at home and they really enjoyed it so was wondering if it would harm them", she was floored with laughter. i sent him on his way with his fish and advised him that masturbating over his fish was not ideal....

[Exotic Mad]

i have had the ultimate ever today!!!

asian guy walks in. spots a bosc monitor and as usual asks. is that a komodo dragon? nothing new there lol
he then goes on to tell us how when he lived in pakistan he used to see komodo dragons wandering about all the time. he also adds that he was once chased by a cobra but a komodo dragon fought it off for him.

or and he used to have pythons and boas come tapping on his door so he used to give them some milk and they went away.

never laughed so hard in my life

[ChloEllie]

after a small incident with me male flowerhorn killing the whole of my tank, i ran in to pets at home...u can see whats coming.
bear with me as it was over a year ago.

i knew what i needed, just a lil 2x1x1 tank and a heater. already had a filter and could use the water from other tank which was already cycled.

i spoke to the lil fish guy and asked which heater to go with the lil tank i was getting. he had no clue (im rubbish with watts etc so just needed that advice)
he said he didnt know as he didnt keep cichlids and would go and get his manager who was the expert.
so after waiting for 5mins and listening to her finish her fag and her chat to her other friend, this huge butch crew cut lady (i think) walks round the corner and asks whats up.
she wants to know why im getting etc etc. i explain and she has no idea what a flowerhorn is.
after lots of explaining she egts stroppy and chucks a heater at me.

put that down to bad eperience.

go in a week later wanting some tetras, ok it was to put in my other tank which already had tetras in it...but yes they woul go missing.

she refused to sell them to me coz i had a flowerhorn in there (i had the female which only just survived the males attack, and was as soppy as anything. even now at 10" she scared of everything else) i explained that last week she didnt have a clue what a flowerhorn was, she then told me it was the same as an oscar and would eat everything in site!!!!

not an amazing story but considering she was the manager i was pained. i handed my CV in the next day and told them i actually knew about fish and could maybe help....never heard anything.

[bigdaddyboa]

I had a gentleman come round the other week to buy a corn snake off me. He was looking at the other snakes in the reptile room. Then he turns round to me and
him. I have had snakes for years from corns to boas and different pythons
I was like ok then, so she will be at home
Man. Yeah and I know one of your snakes is really ill
Me I dont think so
Man yes (pointing into my bottom viv) That royal python is on it's last legs that is why it's gone that strange colour"
Me no she is fine and for your info she is not a royal python she is a hogg island x boa
man you are wrong u know nothing about snakes my brother is a reptile vet and he has taught me all i know about snakes
As he left (without the corn) he told me he was phoning the rspca on me as I knew nothing about snakes. When the inspector arrived he was having a giggle about the stupid man as well. As he could see I do not have any pythons of any sort in my collection.

[bluejon91]

Originally Posted by bigdaddyboa

I had a gentleman come round the other week to buy a corn snake off me. He was looking at the other snakes in the reptile room. Then he turns round to me and
him. I have had snakes for years from corns to boas and different pythons
I was like ok then, so she will be at home
Man. Yeah and I know one of your snakes is really ill
Me I dont think so
Man yes (pointing into my bottom viv) That royal python is on it's last legs that is why it's gone that strange colour"
Me no she is fine and for your info she is not a royal python she is a hogg island x boa
man you are wrong u know nothing about snakes my brother is a reptile vet and he has taught me all i know about snakes
As he left (without the corn) he told me he was phoning the rspca on me as I knew nothing about snakes. When the inspector arrived he was having a giggle about the stupid man as well. As he could see I do not have any pythons of any sort in my collection.

haha well his brother must have done this on purpose so he could embarras himself and end up on a site like this

[laurencea]

this vaguely falls into this category...

i was at the London Wetland Centre yesterday (a regular haunt of mine) and a couple of us spotted a great crested grebe surface with a fish. they got some shots, but i didn't bother, due to its position to me, etc and nothing to do with slow reactions, no siree...

anyway... where it was was near a clearing in some plants and could be seen clearly by a group of people walking along a path. they stopped and watched. as my friends and i walked past them we heard one woman say...

"oooh, that was disgusting, that poor fish"

we did wonder why she was vising a wildFOWL and wetlands centre.

[HalcyonInverts]

i work at a public aquarium and the amount of people saying utter nonsense is amazing! never a dull conversation...

Some of the best have been...

'look hunny, its a shark!' (referring to very large tiger shovel nose catfish)
'look hunny, its a catfish!' (referring to the carp)
'oh wow, scallops!' (dont you mean Nautilus?)

and my personal fave...

'Oh my god, tadpoles!!!' (no you moron, those are four eyed fish) how big do some people think tadpoles are? like 7 inches?

People are funny!

[bluejon91]

so right blonkers out there

[Molly75]

Oh I loved my shop working days this was the convo I had with an old 78 year old guy who used to come in

Can I have some of your good weed the last lot was rubbish I need to buy the good stuff this time

Not so sure he was talking about something for his fishes after all

Paula

[damien1010]

the best one i heard a couple days back was- 'what would happen if they all got out mayte'
to which i rapidly replyed 'well,i wouldnt be stood here talking to idiots such as your self ,answering stupid questions about impossible things'

now you may think this was bad customer care, but this idiot comes in EVERY saturday and asks the most outstandidly annoying questions EVER the week befor was 'can anyfin in ere kill yah mayte'- yes, i risk life and limb,day after day for 5.55 an hour, on your bike son beam.