Stupid things said by customers etc...

Twiglet · #1 (**permalink**) 10-07-2009, 10:20 AM

Just read a post started by someone who had been told by a non rep keeper that leopard geckos live to be over a hundred and it got me thinking about all the utter tripe i've heard from people recently.
Others here work in shops, i cant be the only one that gets the eegits (please tell me i'm not the only one that gets the eegits...)
I work in an aquatics show with a very small reptile section.

The Boa Story - you'll all have heard this one, I'm getting a different version every few weeks now. You know the one i mean, the "snake laying next to owner, vet says to get rid of it as its measuring to see if it can eat you" story. The boa has grown from 6 feet to 40 feet in a matter of months if the stories are to be believed. people always look so disapointed when you point out the idiocy of that story.

"can I have some Crocusts/Lucus?/locus/locustses?"
No, but you CAN have some LOCUSTS!

"Excuse me, do you sell marine turtles?"
Yeah, sure, I've got six arriving tomo. I though I'd keep them in that tank with the great white shark and the orca...

"will the frozen smelts come back to life when i defrost them for my lion fish?"
pray REALLY hard...

"look son, a BEARDED dragon! They can't breathe fire though. Thats just Komodo dragons"
I'd quite like to meet a fire breathing komodo. or actually, maybe i wouldn't.

"excuse me, do you sell water pistols?" No sorry, try the garden centre "well, thats rediculous, you're a water shop aren't you???"
ok...

"wow, is that A REAL snake?!?!?" No, its a deck chair. "Really?!" sigh.

"some one told me they get big, but i figure I wont really need a big vivarium because greckos only grow the the size of their tank"
No i wouldn't have sold him a gecko either. or a grecko for the matter.

"I've got this lizard, its not eating. Whats wrong with it?" what species I ask... "oh just a normal basic lizard, you know, those long ones."
keh?

"Are the snakes poisonous?"
well, i dont suggest you try and eat one but no, they are not poisonous. they are not VENOMOUS either.... If i had a quid for every time i get asked this i could retire. or buy a gun and shoot every cretin that asks me if ingesting a snake will make them ill.

I saw a gentleman looking a little confused recently (see alot of them actually) so i went over to him and said "are you ok there sir?" he looked at me like i was pile of faeces and replied "no" before storming out of the shop.

and the best one ever:

"can i buy some quality weed please?"
yeah ok so they really want a bunch of elodea for their long suffering goldfish but the sight of a tiny old woman wearing a bobble hat asking me for joint never fails to make me smile. I'm easily amused!

Any one else??

Kat

Nick417 · #2 (**permalink**) 10-07-2009, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twiglet

Just read a post started by someone who had been told by a non rep keeper that leopard geckos live to be over a hundred and it got me thinking about all the utter tripe i've heard from people recently.
Others here work in shops, i cant be the only one that gets the eegits (please tell me i'm not the only one that gets the eegits...)
I work in an aquatics show with a very small reptile section.

The Boa Story - you'll all have heard this one, I'm getting a different version every few weeks now. You know the one i mean, the "snake laying next to owner, vet says to get rid of it as its measuring to see if it can eat you" story. The boa has grown from 6 feet to 40 feet in a matter of months if the stories are to be believed. people always look so disapointed when you point out the idiocy of that story.

Kat

I was actually told that one by a girl who worked in a Rep shop (won't say which one to spare their blushes.....well it was in Bristol........and it wasn't Reptile Zone.....) I did try to point out it was total b*ll*cks but she swore it was her best friends snake etc. etc..
So it's not just the people who go in the shops, sometimes they are already there.
Best one I heard was on wednesday at work (not a reptile shop, a proper job...only joking) one of the women was asking about the hatchlings and I said that one had tried to bite me but couldn't break the skin. And she asked why not "doesn't it have one of them forked tongues?" because "I've seen a program on the telly and the tongue stabs you and injects the poison". Bet David Attenborough's rolling over in his grave, except he's not dead but he would do if he was. All those weeks/months making Life in Cold Blood and still the numpties think that snakes bite with their tongues...........

Nick

Twiglet · #3 (**permalink**) 10-07-2009, 01:53 PM

Venom injecting tongues... did she not believe you when you explained that pokemon aren't real...??

The other one we get alot is people waltzing into the shop and asking for random items. wellies, lawn mowers, pate, carpet cleaner.
Even better is when someone comes in asking is we sell rabbits... its just TOO tempting to slap a stiff one on the desk.

Kat

Ozgi · #4 (**permalink**) 10-07-2009, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twiglet

and the best one ever:

"can i buy some quality weed please?"
yeah ok so they really want a bunch of elodea for their long suffering goldfish but the sight of a tiny old woman wearing a bobble hat asking me for joint never fails to make me smile. I'm easily amused!

Any one else??

Kat

I used to work in an aquatic shop and absolutely loved this. So many people would come up and ask for weed! haha. "Excuse me, can I buy some weed please?". LMAO

Matt Northampton · #5 (**permalink**) 10-07-2009, 03:48 PM

We have had a few, here are some I can remember,
"do the mice come back to life when you defrost them",

" my mate had a 15 foot boa but it was safe coz it had had the venom removed",

" do chameleons explode if you hold them up to a tartan background",

" I am after a fan tailed lizard, you know like the one that spits venom on Jurassic Park",

"is a rat snake a rattle snake thats had its rattle removed ?"

"I know what Im talking about Im a qualified reptologist"

"do corn snakes eat corn"

" Im after an Albanian rock python" and she was insistant it wasnt an albino rock python and really argued the point, then left in a strop.