av p.med mods before about things and never got a reply bk only way you get an answer is to p.m t-bo

aw thanks, you're the second person that has said that!
and i guess this is the reason why i DO come on here, because there are people who are willing to help without the need to be overly "excitable"

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1.0.0 Beardie - Jelly

0.1.0 Cat - Tallulah

I agree BecciBoo. Some people do flame people for the sake of it and there is no real point to it other than to have a go because there are no consequences or knock-on effects for them. If a person made a mistake, be it with their reps or through their association with other indiviuals then by all means, point it out, just don't re-iterate or 'put in the same bag' so many times, so loudly and so publicly. Mention your differing opinion, move on and get over the fact that people may do things in an equally valid but different way.

On the mod thing. As far as I dealt with them they do a sterling job of keeping this huge bunch (sometimes loud and shouty rabble) in check for no financial recompense. Nice one Mods.

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This is something that really makes me smile. If you assume that all the members on here are unique... which is very unlikely ( having modded other forums it's amazing how many people just create a new account rather than find out the password for their old one or forget what their user name was )... so being VERY kind, it totals around 14,000. Now the figures a few YEARS ago were that there were around 1,000,000 reptile keepers in the UK so by now let's assume there are 1,500,000 given that this is supposed to be one of the fastest growing hobbies over the last 3-4 years.

So that's what... 0.93% of hobbiest keepers use the site.

So how exactly are people being 'pushed out of the hobby' ?. Even if everyone on the forum called someone a berk... there are still 99% of the hobby left who haven't yet... and that's just in the UK

People really do take 'forum life' way too seriously.

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http://www.herpcare.org.uk - Herpetocultural Care Guides

http://www.happinet.co.uk

A fair point well made, within this little community of rep keepers that use RFUK though there is a significant minority who do use the anonimity of sitting behind a pc monitor as a chance to have a go.

Your right in saying people take what is said on the forum far too seriously but its not nice to be on the receiving end of it when you are equally as passionate about the 'hobby' (maybe more so) than the flamers themselves.

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exactly..

I get sick of people blaming forums for getting out of reptile keeping..
last year i was geting Pms threatening me daily because of a thread i started.. did i get upset.. a bit.... was i fed up witht he whole crap.. of course... did i sell al my animals and cry OH YOU HORRID PEOPLE you MADE me sell my animals... NO WAY

if the forums are causing you so much heartache then leave... simple..

that said i have spent hours at times on msn and on phone to people who have posted in the lizard section of rfuk who have got thinmgs badly wrong with husbandry and ive tried helping them when evryones jumped on them..

Ive calmed them donw when they have been upset etc and tried to gently correct the issues..

i dont mind doing that for newbies etc but when its long term keepers or breeders i feel they should know better really...

ive been on the receiving end of some pretty darn harsh stuff on here ( name calling, swearing, and actual threats) and i know i can be bolshy and in your face when replying to threads... although i have never threatened anyone.... but the very thought that anyone on here would cause me to just give up my animals is madness..

Id leave a million forums over before selling my animals because of anything on a forum...

and to use it as an excuse is really weak... the silly thing is keeping animals is about self responsibility for them,... so if some person you dont like on a forum gets the blame for a person selling up everything.. surely that shows a persons more willing to blame others than actually look at their REAL reasons why they are selling.. I cant eb bothered with people who cant self evaluate their emotional responses to external stimuli... they just annoy me

I also find is ridiculous that people think the forumites on here that have big collections are the largest sellers in the Uk and the most prominent..

.. there are hundreds and thousands of sellers who never come on forums... with excellent collections..

thats why on classifieds when rare species come up and breeders say.. but IM THE ONLY person in the UK who has bred... that species.. theres maybe 10 others who know of people who have,, then arguements kick off and people get upset because they dont feel special anymore... its a bit daft to be honest..

reptile breeders, keepers and hobbyists alike do not revolve their life around RFUK.. a tiny percentage of keepers and breeders use this forum..

sometimes people act like its the main centre of the reptile world..

I use forums for information and also out of sheer boredom, I find forums interesting and strange... two things my old job provided me with that I no longer have...... the condition I have means i cant work anymore sadly.. but when i did have a full time job I never went on a single forum ever... i simply didnt have the time..

I also notice that the very people who are harsh some of the time are the ones saying to others.. oh you nasty person how could you do this or that to poor Joe Bloggs..

Hypocrisy ini life is rife.. and forums are a tiny slice of life..

people wil never JUST get along.. thats impossible..

humans are what make up forums... humans will ALWAYS fight and argue and disagree.. but the peopel ive met in real life on here.. the ones i thought id instantly dislike have turned ou to be quite the opposite.. forum personaility is odd.. it doesnt give you a true indication of a persons whole personality only a smal insight to a tiny part of who they are..

and the ones that SEEM quiet and nicey nicey... well at times havent been... we are all different.. personailty, beliefs, strength of mind and emotionally.. that wont just go into remission on a forum,. if anything the dynamics of personality are heightened and changed in forums.. causing more oportunity for disagreements and so called harhsness..


what you type when behind a pc screen is often very different to what people are willing to be brave enough to SAY in real life.. ive read some very brave replies to some threads at times... quite nasty evem then in real life the people cant even meet your eye..

what i type id always be willing to say to someones face... calmly and carefully maybe... but without falseness..



and really thats that

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what i hate is folk who think they know it all, and that their way HAS to be best. and folk who dont think before they post. there is truthfulness, and there is arrogance. inthis hobby there are no experts, everyone is learning every day. then there is the ones who will say 'no i dont like your snake'. and when the same is said to them they go off on one. if you cant take it, dont dish it out.

there only one person i have met on these forums who is exactly the same on them as he is off. and he can put his point across without hurting anyone.

oh and i dont type anything i wouldnt be willing to say to anyones face either.

Lynn.. i know what you mean about peopel taking offence at others saying BUT WHY dont u like my animal... that annoys me too... I dont keep mine for others to like.... I , I keep them not to show them off on the forums but for me and my kids enjoyment.

I dont need to be competative and showy like others ive seen.. so yeah that gets to me also...

I love seeing animal piccies but not when they are posted in a way that is blatantly trying to wind people up and gloat about things...

So i have to agree there...

On the emotive side..

Hurt is part of life. We all have a heart though. Life isnt a simple jigsaw we cant fit al the pieces together all of the time.

Its braver to appologise for our faults than to have the arrogance to think we have none.

I have many. hence i am have no issue admitting them.

its just sad that people become vicious...

bolshy forthright attitudes are fine... in fact i rather like them.. physical threats and bullying are not.

However since forums are written word there wil always be the issues of semantics and word play. How one person views nastiness wil be someone elses arrogance and yet again someone elses point of view being made srtongly.. its simply a grey area through and through... and a total pshycological mindfield to boot... we all have feelings... none of us I dont think are monsters.. plenty of us though i notice hold severe grudge matches... which frankly is petty and childish... and whilst it would be very nice to think we could all JUST get along as we share a common interest..

thats daft... just take a look at football..

its in human beings natures to be tribal and clan like and when transferred to forums that becomes groups... add in emotions and hierarchy and that becomes cliques.. like it or not.

if you cant take the heat get out of the kitchen ( thats not to anyone in particular its just in general)

or just get off the forums for a few months .. that way perspective usually seeps back in..

i must admit i sometimes enjoy forums sometimes hate them.. but then im a very emotive person who enjoys thrashing out a bit of banter now and again..

and i always care more about the animals than the people..

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Nothing makes people post on here, if you don't like whats said to you, then knob off, simple

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Well said

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