jokes

1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for...

Hi all Just post any jokes you have i'll start. There where two boys that got aressted yesterday. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks, One got let of the other got charged. There were a pair of chrisps walking down the street when a car pulled up and said do you...

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Give me the bad news first. Doctor: Your legs were injured so...

Had my hands slapped for posting jokes with the F word so here's a few without....:whistling2: Mafia Godfather in Toronto finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was...

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action. So I sent her my ironing.. That'’ll keep the lazy cow busy. I got invited to a party and was told to...

The 7 dwarfs were all in bed feeling happy so he got out and slept on his own...:mf_dribble: Guy runs into the back of a car at the lights...bloke in front gets out, he's just 3ft tall, he says "I'm not happy" guy at the back says "Ok, which one are you then"...:gasp: Bloke walks into the...

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was...

Politically Incorrect Joke of the Day What do you call the first Afghan off the boat? Amhere! What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel! What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim! --------------------------------------------------------- Man in...

took my girlfriend to the zoo yesterday, they said "thanks for bringing her back"

girlfriend said "take me somewhere different" i said "try the kitchen"

driving home from work, got distracted by a woman on the sidewalk, hit the car in front of me. three foot midget got out and said "i'm not happy" i said "well, which one are you then"

This was sent to me in an email from my sister The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by...

Like it says.... Here's my first! Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Sir Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven...

A nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession. "Mother, today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the key to Heaven and put it in the gates." "Why that lying...

Here's a few to start you off: Yo' mamma's sooooo fat she like the lottery; she take two years to roll over! Yo' mamma's sooooo fat she walked past the T.V and I missed 16 episodes! Yo' mamma's sooooo stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead just to make up her mind! Yo' mamma's sooooo...