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She does not: Get PMS
She becomes: Hormonally Homicidal

She does not have: A Killer Body
She is: Terminally Attractive

She is not: A Bad Cook
She is: Microwave Compatible

She is not: A Bad Driver
She is: Automotively Challenged

She is not a: Perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior

She is not: Easy
She is: Horizontally Accessible

She does not: Hate Sports On TV
She is: Athletically Biased

She does not get: Drunk
She is: Accidentally Over-Served

You do not ask her: To Dance
You request a: Pre-Coital Rhythmic Experience

She is not: A Gossip
She is a: Verbal Terminator

She does not: Work Out Too Much
She is an: Abdominal Overachiever

She does not have: A Great Butt
She is: Gluteus To The Maxius

She is not: Hooked On Soap Operas
She is: Melodramatically Fixated

She is not: Cold Or Frigid
She is: Thermally Incompatible

She does not: Wear Too Much Make-Up
She is: Cosmetically Oversaturated

She will never: Gain Weight
She will become: A Metabolic Underachiever

She is not: A Screamer Or Moaner
She is: Vocally Appreciative

She does not: Sun Bathe
She experiences: Solar Enhancement

Her breasts will never: Sag
They will: Lose Their Vertical Hold

She does not: Cut You Off
She becomes: Horizontally Inaccessible

She does not: Snore
She is: Nasally Repetitive

She does not have: Big Hooters
Her: Cups Runneth Over

She is not: Too Skinny
She is: Skeletally Prominent
 
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