Reptile Forums banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

2,397 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
You Might Be a Herper if:

The local power plant knows the exact moment your timers go off!
You've bred rabbits for 15 years, yet have no idea what their average life span is.
You hear someone describing their new high-resolution 20" monitor and wonder if it's Australian or Indonesian.
The neighborhood animals start disappearing as your Green 'Conda passes the 200-lb mark.
You answer the door holding a big fat snake & wonder why the Jehovah's Witnesses won't talk with you.
Your snakes spend more time in your bathtub than you do!
You check the "free to good home" ads daily, yet have no desire to own a mammal.
Your house was raided by the police after a tipoff from the electric company suspecting you of growing pot.
You and a friend are overheard talking about your babies & someone asks about them, and you reply "yeah, my 'baby' is 15' long & weighs around 125 pounds!!!"
You have a special drawer to keep perfect sheds in.
Your friends ask you when the last time you scored was & you reply "Man, it was great! This guy sold me an 8' female Colombian & the 125 L for dirt just in time for breeding season," and they look at you like "WHAT THE HELL are you talking about?!?!"
Your fellow herper asks you to lend him some rats... and the next day you come home & find two dead, decomposing rats on your doorstep with a little note saying "Thanks, I didn't need these after all!"
Your freezer is full but the kids whine that there's nothing to eat!
You're the customer at the pet store but answer all the herp questions.
You ask to borrow your friend's pet tree frog to rub a mouse on for that picky feeder.
You overhear someone talking about monitors and you wonder what species they're know your varanids, your favorite is the Crocodile Monitor - computers never even come to mind!
You purchase contacts that look like snake eyes so you fit in with your little world at home.
You keep deceased herps for sentimental value even after you've cleaned out the freezer time & again.
You do a double take at the latest prime specimen in your local herp store haunt & as your significant other begins to glare you say "This is it!! The last one I promise!! I promise!"...and you are believed for the very last time!
Your mom knows about you & your excursions out into the woods and into the local pet store, and now frisks you down as soon as you enter the house!
You tell your girlfriend/mother "that IS the same just changes colors and body shape. Yeah, it really is growing fast - I changed its name from "Mr. Cal King" to "Annie Anaconda."
You quit smoking not to better your health, but out of concern for the effect of second hand smoke on your herps.
Your arms say you're an I.V. drug user...your python says you're dinner!
Your mind races endlessly as you imagine hatching your next clutch of designer ball pythons.
Your bedroom smells worse than your bathroom.
You suffer the "Oh yeah? Look at this baby!! I got this scar when I tried to take the RABBIT AWAY from my Burm!" "Yeah? That ain't nothing - my water monitor railed me when I cut his nails. Check this out...4 stitches!" (This does not denote that any of these species do this!-Kev)
You feel guilty picking your "pet" rabbits in front of a group of bunny-adoring children.
You bypass your girlfriend's Victoria's Secret catalog to get to your latest Reptiles Magazine.
The employees at the local pet store give you dirty looks every time they see you heading for the small animal section.
You convince your girlfriend that it was just make believe, anacondas don't get as big as the one in the movie, they only grow as large as the tank they're in! (No, that's fish logic!)
You have a bedroom but no bed!
You've learned that defrosting rodents in the microwave DOES NOT WORK!! (Splat! Really gross!!)
Your snakes are having a better sex life than you & you're happy about it!
You have way more pillowcases than you have pillows.
You tell the salesperson at the pet store you won't be needing the seven-day health guarantee on the mouse you just bought.
Your best friend's cat died & you wonder if you can have the body.

9,611 Posts
All so true.. think Im getting in trouble here as nearly all apply to me :lol: :lol:

1,777 Posts
:lol2: :rotfl: :lol2:
1 - 9 of 9 Posts